Who would've thought I'd be excited about a Monday?! But I am in need of some serious Not Me! Monday therapy. If you don't mind, I'd like to stretch out on your cyber couch and spill my guts. Not about how I blame all my problems on my mom (which, even if I did have problems, I certainly wouldn't blame them on my sweet Mama!), but rather to fess up to all the horrible mommy moments I've had lately! It's been a while, so this may be a lengthy session! Start the session timer...
You would NEVER find me resorting to "refreshing" my son's underwear in the dryer after my frantic search for clean clothes proved unfruitful! I mean really, who would ever do such a thing?! NOT ME!
NEVER would I carelessly forget to remove my MOPS car magnet before entering the automatic car wash at the gas station. If I would happen to have done such a thing (which I DIDN'T), it certainly WOULDN'T take me all of a week to figure it out!
Christmas was NOT almost cancelled at our house after a minor disagreement with WGH over the placement of the furniture to accomodate our Christmas tree. Furthermore, said disagreement would NEVER include a debate over my wanting to remove WGH's beloved recliner from the livingroom to make a place for the tree. If this incident did occur at our house, it would NOT end by me declaring that WGH would be responsible for finding new homes for the furnitre and putting up the tree, followed by my tweeking his furniture rearranging abilities while he was bathing our kids. I would NEVER behave so childishly! NOPE, NOT ME!
Since our children are our top priority and we NEVER lose sight of caring for their every need, I would NEVER neglect my son's dental hygiene at the expense of his getting NOT one, but four cavities! Even if I would've been guilty of such a travesty, I assuredly would NEVER feel worse if my sweet son had said, "Mommy I forgive you for letting me get cavities!"
When I mentioned I needed the therapy of Not Me! Monday, it was NOT an excuse to avoid cleaning house. Moveover, it was NOT a much needed distraction from the lockdown imposed on my kiddos' preschool and sister's college due to a manhunt for an escaped convict. If this was a scenario from our lives, it would CERTAINLY end with us all back home safe and sound (albeit, anxiously waiting for the capture of the convict)!
Ahhhhhh! I feel better! Thank you for letting me vent on your couch! If you feel the need to charge me for this session, just drop an invoice in the mail. Hopefully it will be covered by my insurance, because who would pay it? NOT ME!!
